The future of the small town of Bent is at stake. The newly elected mayor is preparing for his first council meeting. He awaits a highway engineer who is going to speak about a controversial bypass that would cut Bent off. The pressure is on to vote it down because, if passed, the mayor’s wife’s illegal business will suffer. A mistake by the inattentive secretary puts an auditor, whom the secretary has the hots for, in the mayor’s office instead of the engineer. Meanwhile, her jealous boyfriend is trying to get back into her good graces by giving her a sports car. The deputy mayor, disappointed by not winning the last election, sees the audit as a way to dump the current mayor and take over. Ulterior motives, devious plans and mistaken identities follow when the auditor realises he has a past connection to the mayor’s wife and her illegal business.
Cast: 3F/3M
Here’s how it opens:
Characters – In order of Appearance
Oliver Sutton – Mayor of Bent
Barbie Givens – Admin Assistant to the Mayor
Hilary Sutton – Oliver’s wife
Lance Boyle – Barbie’s boyfriend
Charity Ball – Deputy Mayor
Kyle Killfellen – Government Auditor
Carl (Scoop) Finch – Reporter
Setting
The setting is of the inner and outer offices of the Mayor of Bent. The offices are separated by a wall that allows the audience to see both at the same time. The reception area has a desk with a phone and a computer screen, a filing cabinet, two chairs and a couple of plastic plants. There is a door that leads into the office from the outside as well as a door that leads to the council meeting room. There is also a door that leads into the mayor’s office. It has a smaller desk, phone, filing cabinets, etc. plus a chair in front of the desk.
Act I, Scene I
Barbie is sitting at the reception desk working at her computer. The mayor rises from his desk and crosses to the outer office carrying a piece of paper and stops behind Barbie.
MAYOR: Are you working on the agenda for tonight?
BARBIE: I finished that. This is a grocery list for the weekend.
MAYOR: But I need to make a change in the agenda.
BARBIE: Okay, I just need a second. I’m down to “W”.
MAYOR: You make your grocery list in alphabetic order?
BARBIE: (she nods and types as she goes) Watermelon … yams …zucchini … (spells it) Z-U …how many “k”s in ….oh, there it is. Wow, good thing for spellcheck.
She finishes.
BARBIE: So, what do you have for me?
He hands her the paper.
MAYOR: One change – a spelling correction.
BARBIE: Really? I used spellcheck.
MAYOR: Right here … (pointing to page) It’s a public meeting. You left out the “L”.
BARBIE: Oh, so I did. I guess spellcheck wouldn’t find that one, would it?
MAYOR: No, and seeing as this is my first town meeting as mayor, I’d like things to get off on the right foot.
BARBIE: Okay, I’ll change it now. So how do you think the vote will go?
MAYOR: I don’t think there’s much support for a bypass.
BARBIE: Me neither. Haywood Ball said that his service station and diner would probably close. Then there’d be no place in town to get gas. But he’s not worried. He said his daughter will vote against it.
MAYOR: Deputy Mayor Ball only gets one vote. There are five councillors, and it has to be unanimous.
BARBIE: Some people might be for it. Lance said it would be good for his construction business.
MAYOR: I thought you two stopped going out.
BARBIE: We did. I told him there were other fish in the freezer, but he’s trying to get back together. He told me if the bypass is built, he’ll get me a foreign sports car… a FAT.
MAYOR: A what?
BARBIE: It’s Italian.
MAYOR: I think you mean FIAT. F-I-A-T. It’s an acronym.
BARBIE: He didn’t say what model it is. He just wants to see me drive around town with my top down.
MAYOR: It’s a convertible?
BARBIE: Of course it’s a convertible. How else could I … oh, right.
MAYOR: Well, we’ll know tonight and will announce the vote first thing tomorrow.
BARBIE: I’m not in tomorrow. You know that, right?
MAYOR: Yes, I saw it on the schedule. Do you have plans?
BARBIE: Nothing special. I’ll have a house guest for a few days.
MAYOR: Hence the grocery list. Well, I hope you enjoy your long weekend.
The MAYOR starts for his office, but stops.
MAYOR: Oh, before I forget, a representative from the Highway Authority is coming. It’s important I see him as soon as he gets here. His name is Carl something or other.
BARBIE: That’s a weird last name. Is it foreign?
MAYOR: Are you going to write it down?
BARBIE: Even spellcheck couldn’t handle that name. Does it have those two little dots over the “O”? I don’t get those.
MAYOR: As long as you remember the name Carl.
BARBIE: No problem there. I’ve got a good memory, no, a great memory. It’s like a vault up here. My memory is so good, I can’t remember the last time I forgot something.
MAYOR: That’s reassuring.
BARBIE: Don’t worry about me, Oliver.
MAYOR: Mr. Mayor.
BARBIE: What?
MAYOR: You called me Oliver again. It’s Mr. Mayor now, remember?
BARBIE: Oh, right!
The MAYOR starts for his office; the phone rings. BARBIE looks at whois calling and answers it.
BARBIE: What do you want?
MAYOR: Miss Givens–
BARBIE looks at him and covers the phone.
BARBIE: It’s okay, it’s Lance.
MAYOR: I don’t care who it is, you need to follow protocol.
The mayor starts for his office.
BARBIE: (into the phone) Listen Lance, I’ll have to call you back. We’ve got this big meeting tonight, and I have an agenda to finish and a bunch of reports to put together. I’m far too busy –
The MAYOR exits.
BARBIE: Okay, what is it? … But I told you I’m not ready… yes, the car is nice and all that …
HILARY SUTTON enters. She is well dressed. BARBIE doesn’t notice her at first.
BARBIE: I know you have needs Lance, we all have needs … (BARBIE notices HILARY) – hold on a second. (to HILARY) Hello Mrs. Sutton, are you here to see Oliver?
HILARY: How prescient of you to have deduced that.
BARBIE doesn’t react.
HILARY: Yes, I’m here to see my husband.
BARBIE: He’s in his office.
HILARY: Really? What were the odds?
BARBIE: Gee, I think they’d be quite good.
HILARY: Are you going to tell him I’m here?
BARBIE: Naw, just go right in; he’s not busy. (She speaks into the phone) What colour? … Red!? Oh, well then …
HILARY turns and walks directly into the mayor’s office. BARBIE continues to talk on the phone, but we can’t hear what she’s saying.
HILARY: Hello, Oliver.
MAYOR: Hilary – what a pleasant surprise. I didn’t know you were here.
HILARY: Because I should have been announced. When are you going to replace that air-headed secretary of yours?
MAYOR: You shouldn’t call her that.
HILARY: Why, is it offensive?
MAYOR: Inaccurate. She’s not a secretary, she’s an administrative assistant.
HILARY: We both know what she is, Oliver. And quite frankly, we don’t need the former mayor’s recreational vehicle parked in the lobby.
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